Wedding Stress Busters

There’s no doubt, these days, that planning a wedding has the potential to become a second full-time job. Someone has to think of everything, from how much money will be spent to who can sit next to whom without arguing. Then there’s the whole food-and-entertainment potpourri to orchestrate, not to mention invitations, flowers, photographs, etc.

Yes, someone has to think about all of these things. But that someone doesn’t always have be you, the overtaxed bride-to-be. We know, part of you wants to control everything – and achieve perfection. But, ironically, the more you try to control everything, the more out-of-control you will feel.

You need to let go of some things. But which? The answer is different for everyone.

To find your personal solution, follow this simple three-point stress-busting strategy. It’s called P.D.C. – Prioritize, Delegate, Communicate.

Step 1: Prioritize

Sit yourself down and consider which elements of your wedding hold the greatest significance for you. Assign a number, on a scale of 1 to 10, to each feature of your wedding.

Perhaps you are very concerned about the music (avowed to avoid your Cousin Vinnie’s accordion ditties or any rendition of “Feelings” at all costs). Perhaps you are very concerned with the menu (your sophisticated palette quakes at the thought of those pigs-in-blankets your Cousin Doreen served at her reception). So be it, music and menu get a 9 and 10 and are, therefore, your domain.

But perhaps you are not so concerned with whether the floral arrangements contain gardenias or carnations, or whether the ushers wear black or festoon themselves in peacock-like finery. If these concerns are not paramount, designate these – along with anything else that rates an 8 or below – to be assigned to capable helpers.

Step 2: Delegate

There are a number of ways to match each wedding-related task to a caring, competent supervisor. For example, you can put the person who is most finicky about a certain feature of your wedding in charge of getting it precisely right. There’s a certain poetic justice to this, and it keeps such a person too busy to complain about anything else.

Also, take your helpers’ special areas of expertise into account. For example, if your Mom is intimately acquainted with all of your extended family’s social nuances – such as who has not been on speaking terms for 20 years – for goodness sakes, let her do the seating chart for your clan. On the other hand, avoid obvious mismatches of helper and task. If you are quite sure that someone’s taste diverges from yours, find this willing helper something you’ve deemed a 1 or 2 on the priority scale.

Step 3: Communicate

Just because a task has been assigned doesn’t mean your helper has carte blanche. Be sure to communicate – calmly and clearly – such things as your budget limitations and how each helper’s task should contribute to the overall flavor of the affair.

You can insist on the right of final approval, of course. Once you’ve assigned a task, however, you owe it your helper to give careful consideration to their recommendations. And always thank them graciously, even if you ultimately decide to override them.